One is snoring, one is freezing, one is hot. For couples, often a restful night is not selfunderstood. But, why do nights spent together often become a torture?
Because of different sleeping habits, the shared bed often is a controversial issue. The one prefers sleeping with the window open, the other one needs a hot-water bottle for falling asleep. One loves to listen to music before sleeping, the other one wants to fall asleep while watching TV. Snoring, pulling away the blanket, tossing and turning in the bed – just some examples of disturbing factors. These and the stress involved with not being able to sleep through lead to a bad mood in the morning and have a negative impact on the relationship. The final consequence: moving out of the common bedroom.
Women better sleep alone
Even when we want to spend the night together and to wake up in the morning well rested, many only succeed in doing so when sleeping alone. Especially for women, sleeping alone is healthier and more restful. The female sleep is much more sensitive to noises, women sleep more alert – evolutionary, women are protecting the family during sleep. On the other hand, the proximity of the partner has a soothing effect on men and their sleep is more relaxed.
In any case: a decision for separated beds should not be a decision for abandoning love life. Instead it could be an opportunity to refresh the sex life. A nighttime visit in the partner’s bedroom as well as putting some effort in conquering the own partner again might care for some updraft.
But, should you prefer spending the night together you should start to work on the pre-conditions. Do you share one blanket or does every partner have an own one? Do you spend the night in a double- or twin bed that can be separated just as the fancy takes you? These are habits that vary from country to country. In Germany, for example, separated blankets are common whereas in America the partners often share one blanket.
The German psychologist and sleep scientist Jürgen Zulley is of the opinion that separated bedrooms only should be an issue, when one of the partners is massively disturbed by the other one. Objectively, it is better to sleep alone – but of course, the subjective feeling is far more important.
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