Total exhaustion. And despair. You only realize how nice sleeping is and how limiting missing sleep is when you are not able to sleep. Especially young parents often suffer under too less sleep – well, because the baby isn’t sleeping like it really should. Uncertainty comes along with it: don’t babys need up to 18 hours of sleep?
Need of sleep is depending from the age. Newborns need the most sleep, about 16 to 18 hours, one year old children from 12 to 15 hours and a four years old about 12 hours. But, these are only guidelines -– every child is and sleeps different.
What can I do?
Especially newborns find it difficult to get accustomed to the new surroundings. Here, they need the support of their reference persons. To get used to a regular sleep-wake-rhythm, a regulated daily routine with consistent to-go-to-bed-times is important. Daylight during the day, walks in fresh air -– best in all weathers –- become more quiet towards the evening, rituals like reading or telling bedtime stories, cuddling, singing, … things that show that bedtime is here. Not the number of rituals is important but that you find something, you and your baby are feeling well with and that is giving stability.
A dark, well aired, quiet bedroom supports sleeping. And the security, that someone is here. You can’t await from a newborn to sleep through and calm down by itself. By the way: what applies to the young ones also applies to bigger children -– and yes, also to grown-ups: activity, exercise, daylight and fresh air during daytime, getting calmer, relaxation exercises, darkness and a quiet bed room we are feeling well in support sleeping.
It is important that the day comes to a “peaceful” end. Even when there has been a muddle -– the child always should know and be sure that it is beloved by its parents. Anything else can be dealt with in the mornings. Always take fears serious, even if they might seem impossible for grown-ups. Offer help against the monsters in the closet, a calming scent like lavender, which monsters detest, for example. Or a cuddle toy – as everyone knows, feared by monsters. For older children alterations like a move, beginning of the school term or a forthcoming presentation may care for enough of unease to disturb sleep. Here, a calming conversation or time for writing into a diary may complement the night-time-ritual.
Nasal congestion or tummy ache may also keep from sleeping. When the complaints last, seek advice with a pediatrician or a midwife, especially when it concerns newborns.
But sometimes the reasons are more serious: family disputes, lasting pressure at school, illness or death of a related person. Should the sleeping problems of children last you might need professional help.
Don’t forget yourself
But luckily, most of the times it is very easy: when the parents are relaxed, the children are relaxed, too. Out of this reason, times for oneself are very important, even if it is only 10 minutes now and then. Times, in which you can unwind yourself. And: when you can’t go any longer, seek professional help for yourself, too.
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